Single, Exhausted, and Craving Something Real
Reclaim your energy, align with your intentions, and find love that truly matters
On this quiet Friday afternoon, as I sit editing my e-book, The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Readiness, a wave of gratitude washes over me.
The thought that someone purchased even the less refined version of my work yesterday fills me with a profound sense of encouragement.
It is a reminder that someone, somewhere, saw value in what I have shared.
They chose to exchange their trust for my knowledge, believing that my words could make a meaningful difference in their journey.
This gratitude fuels my passion for writing and building a community.
It is a testament to the importance of curiosity and courage, two qualities that have guided me through my journey of navigating relationships, understanding marriage readiness, and supporting others in doing the same.
Reflecting on this journey, I am reminded of a previous newsletter where I explored the growing trend of using halal Muslim matrimonial apps and shared Amina's story.
The feedback I received was incredible, reaffirming my belief that there is immense untapped potential in how we approach marriage today.
The Exhaustion of Repeated Conversations
One recurring theme I’ve noticed is the sheer exhaustion that so many people feel when pursuing marriage.
They’ve grown tired, not just physically, but emotionally.
The same conversations, the same superficial introductions, and the lack of authentic connections weigh heavily on their hearts.
Many feel as though they’re running in circles, unable to build something substantial or meaningful that aligns with their values and vision for marriage.
This exhaustion often leads to two things:
Settling for less: Some begin to lower their expectations or compromise on values just to avoid the overwhelming cycle of disappointment.
Avoidance altogether: Others retreat, choosing to delay or abandon the pursuit of marriage entirely, believing that genuine connection simply isn’t possible.
But here’s the truth: the process doesn’t have to feel this way.
1. Start with Clear Intentions
The Prophet ﷺ said, "Actions are judged by intentions." Begin by asking yourself: What do I truly want in a marriage? What values are non-negotiable? Focus on three core criteria:
Faith: Do they pray their five daily prayers and demonstrate taqwa (God-consciousness)?
Character: Are they emotionally intelligent, kind, and respectful?
Personal Priority: What one unique trait or shared value is essential to you?
By clarifying these intentions, you create a filtering system that prevents wasted time and ensures you conserve your energy for meaningful connections.
2. Refine Your Definition of Good Character
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” Character goes beyond politeness or charm. Look for qualities that indicate emotional maturity and stability, such as:
Empathy: Do they listen and validate others’ emotions?
Self-Control: Can they remain calm and patient under pressure?
Consistency: Do their actions match their words?
This refined understanding of character will help you recognise red flags early and focus on individuals with true compatibility.
3. Be Authentic and Intentional
Your personality is a gift from Allah. Do not dim your light to fit someone else’s expectations. Be yourself, quirks, expressions, and all. Authenticity fosters trust and allows you to attract someone who values you for who you are.
Additionally, approach every interaction with intention. Be respectful yet curious, asking meaningful questions such as:
“What inspires your relationship with Allah?”
“How do you handle conflict in relationships?”
“What role does family play in your life?”
These conversations reveal depth and align your connection with Islamic values.
4. Seek Barakah Through Dua and Action
Never underestimate the power of dua in this journey. Consistently ask Allah to:
Protect you from unsuitable matches.
Guide you to a spouse who strengthens your faith and brings tranquillity to your life.
Provide you with wisdom and patience throughout the process.
Combine dua with action. Involve your wali or a trusted mentor to ensure accountability and halal boundaries, and diversify your approach by exploring halal matrimonial apps, family networks, or community introductions.
5. Preserve Your Energy and Focus on Growth
Courtship can be exhausting, but it doesn’t have to drain you. Protect your energy by:
Avoiding prolonged interactions with unsuitable prospects.
Reflecting on each experience as an opportunity for growth, not failure.
Prioritising self-care, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The Prophet ﷺ reminded us that Allah’s timing is perfect. Trust in His plan, knowing that every delay or setback is a redirection toward what is best for you.
As I reflect on my journey and the feedback I’ve received from readers, I’m reminded of why I started this work in the first place. It’s about more than just sharing information, it’s about creating a space where women can feel heard, understood, and supported.
The stories we share and the connections we build through this journey are a powerful reminder that we are never alone.
And while the path to marriage readiness can feel daunting, it’s also an opportunity to grow, learn, and find clarity in what truly matters.
So, let’s continue this journey together, with gratitude, curiosity, and hope lighting the way.
Join My Free Webinar
Discover how to navigate Muslim Matrimonial Apps Successfully, while staying aligned with your values and preserving your energy.
📅 Date: Next Friday, Jan 31, 2025 07:30 PM, London U.K, Greenwich Mean Time
🔗 Link: Join Zoom Meeting - Click Here For Link
Masha'Allah, congrats on your finalizing edits on your ebook. Your content definitely inspires and helps me have a more realistic and resilient approach to courtship. May Allah add immense barakah to your work and marriage!!