Where Are My Red Roses?
Trusting Allah and Your Intuition in Courtship
As Valentine's Day draws near, it’s hard to ignore the emphasis placed on romantic love.
Flowers, chocolates, and grand gestures flood social media, pressuring us to measure our worth through external validation
Yet, for many of us, especially Muslim women navigating the journey of courtship and marriage, this day can bring a different set of feelings of longing, confusion, or even anxiety.
We may feel like something is missing, wondering, Why haven’t I found the one yet? What is wrong with me?
These questions may linger in the back of our minds, especially when we feel the weight of societal expectations or the pressure to settle down.
Love is not tied to a date on the calendar, nor is it about meeting the expectations set by society. It’s about faith, trust, and heart-centred acceptance in Allah’s plan.
But here’s an important reminder
Valentine’s Day is a celebration rooted in pagan traditions and commercialised consumer culture, not the core of what true love is in Islam.
True love is not defined by a single day or fleeting moments, rather is about faith, trust in Allah, and finding a partner who aligns with your soul, values, and mission in life.
The love we seek is not something dictated by the world, it’s a love rooted in patience, purpose, and trust in Allah's timing.
For those of us on the courtship journey, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. You may feel hopeful one moment, only to be crushed by the fear of choosing the wrong partner the next.
The pressure is real
Society, family, and expectations weigh on you to make decisions quickly, to find a partner, and to fit in with the timeline.
On the outside, it looks like everyone else is ahead of you, finding love, getting married, settling down. But in your heart, you feel that uncertainty, that quiet fear that holds you back from trusting yourself.
This fear is rooted in self-doubt, the belief that you may choose the wrong partner, or even worse, that you won’t be chosen at all.
But here’s a truth I’ve learned
Fear will never guide you to the right decisions. Fear leads you into confusion, rushing you to conclusions, and keeping you stuck in a cycle of overthinking and second-guessing yourself.
On the other hand, intuition is subtle. It speaks to you calmly, quietly, and gently. Intuition doesn’t overwhelm you, it guides you with a sense of peace and knowing.
When I’m truly listening to my intuition, I feel a sense of calm, even when things aren’t fully clear.
Intuition isn’t about rushing to conclusions, it’s about feeling the peace that comes with the right decision.
When you take your time, listen to your intuition, and trust Allah, the right person will come. You don’t need to rush. Trust in Allah’s plan, and trust that when the time is right, He will bring the perfect partner for you.
You are enough.
Your worth is not defined by your relationship status.
You are already complete, and your journey to finding a partner should be about finding someone who complements your life and not someone who fills a void.
When you trust yourself, you stop looking for external validation. True love comes when we are ready, when we are aligned with our faith, our values, and our purpose.
You are worthy of a love that respects you, values you, and lifts you up. You don’t need to settle for less than what you deserve, and you don’t have to rush the process.
Ask yourself!
Are you letting fear or intuition guide you in your courtship journey?
How can you trust the process and let Allah’s plan unfold naturally?
Free Red Flags Checklist to Get You Started on Validating Your Intuition
As you navigate the courtship journey, here’s a Red Flags Checklist to help you evaluate your feelings and guide your intuition. This checklist is a tool to help you discern when fear is leading you, versus when your intuition is showing you a sign.
Download the Free Red Flags Checklist Here
Love
Zainab x